Child Bear and Coldless Phone

Around a decade back I was working for THE SPORTS CHANNEL and traveling all over the boondocks of Rajasthan and UP. In those travails ( oops travels )I saw lots of examples of indi-genius use of the English language. The gems being Coaching Clashes for young children in Muzzafarnagar and Child Bear at a 'English Wine and Beer Shop' on the way to Ajmer. Those days I didnt have access to digital cameras or NOKIAS and so could never take a pic for posterity. But I was always impressed and amused by this amazing ability to understand deeper aspirations. i mean what better to teach the young of Muzaffarnagar but clashes. And how best to get young users for beer but through child beer or maybe they had the Pint bottles in Ajmer .
But yesterday I saw the great Indian invention. Move Over Chinese phones, here comes the ultimate handset, the Indian phone that keeps you safe and sound. protects from sneezes and flu - The great Indian COLDLESS PHONE.Available in the heart of posh South Delhi.

Bomb Blasts and the spirit of Indians

I was tempted to use Delhites in place of Indians but then thought that across the country this must be the case.
People are more interested in being a Tamashai rather than be prudent and be safe.
Around an hour back just outside our office in Barakhamba Road, N Delhi two small packets were found unclaimed on the pavement. Due to the heightened security post the bomb blasts very soon there were some policemen who came to check the stuff. Since it was sealed they called the bomb squad.
Generally that area has some 100 people mulling around but with the news of the bomb spreading like wildfire (it spread to our floor which is 10 floors up ) there was soon a crowd of 500-600 people surrounding the bomb. And on being told to move back and be safe they were behaving like football defenders being told to move back by the referee. They were so reluctant to move back that it seemed the cops were asking them to do something illegal.
Anyways even our cops are crazy, the bomb disposal squad was without any protective gear and if anything had happened I swear I at least would have felt that they deserved it.
I think this episode should have been filmed and telecast all over the media networks so that the Indian mujahideens would just give up trying to scare people by their stupid idiotic acts.

Big Bang and The world coming to an End

I am generally reasonably well informed. I mean I might not know the present price of potatoes in Burkina Fasso but am aware of who Sarah Palin is and where Singur is. So it came as a big surprise to me when I reached office yesterday afternoon to be told that tomorrow is Apocalypse.
It seems there is this mega experiment happening as per Reuters which will enact the start of the universe and so there will be a black hole which will suck everything. It seemed straight out of India TV, Aaj Tak or IBN7.
That brought us all to discussing about how the standards of news has fallen. Every other day the Breaking News is about How demons have come, Chudails in a village and commissioner ka kutta gum.
In this case at least there is some scientific stuff happening and so the genesis of the story but what is the base of all these stupid stories which pass of as news. Who is responsible? who can the public look up to when the 'venerable' Rajedeep Sardesais channel carry such trash.

Fish Thali in Goa

I am just back from five days in rainy Goa with friends and family. Actually with the no of times that this particular group has gone out on Vacations I should say ' With Family'.
With the week evenly spread between North and South Goa, I had the opportunity to see two different facets and sides which I had not seen on one single visit earlier.
Taj Holiday Village is a quintessential Taj experience. Great Service, Great people but very ordinary food. With the Desi Katrina hurling itself against the gauada fort as a background we were forced to stay within the confines of the Hotel and per force have food at the restaurants within the complex.
I have a healthy disrespect and distaste of buffet food and Taj did not do anything to change my opinion. the food was ordinary with even the Ala carte not doing anything to make it feel good. Even if the menu has to have the Indian Buffet fav of Paneer and Daal they can have some local variations but No that would be expecting too much I guess. The only positive was the pizzas that the kids had every evening, they were nice thin crust ones with the right amount of cheese and toppings.
Brittos at Baga was nice for lunch but I thought that the Crab Cakes had other meat also in it and it was not pure Crab. The grilled prawns were quite nice and the drought beer finally made me feel i was in Goa.
Pre Independence night saw the Taj chefs wake up from their slumber and create something nice and so had the variety of Beef Xacuti, Crab Xek Xek and grilled fish, chicken and prawns on the menu. It was quite good for me as I focussed my attention only on the sea food and like a true bengali decided to bring my fingers to the party. I really cant eat fish with Knives and forks, the la di la crowd be damned.
the next day was our trip the the intercontinental at Canacona which is the extreme south of Goa on the Karnataka border. In the time that it took us there we could have gone to Delhi and back and by 2 O'Clock my stomach was grumbling. We stopped at a small roadside eatery called Karmangla Hotel ( or something like that ). Since the choices were plentiful we orders Fish Thali and prawns. I think the secret of enjoying good food is to have it with zero expectations. The thali arrived in leaf plates and comprised of boiled rice, a bowl of spicy curry, mish mash of shrimps, a small fried fish and some mashed fish which was more fish bone than fish. The fish curry had the right blend of spice and the tangy flavour helped the rice get that feel of great accompaniment. The fried fish had a coating of Sooji which gave it a nice crunchy feel. the shrimps were done just so to give that exquisite shrim flavor that reminded me of my grandmoms bhaat bhaja with kuchi chingri. The spicy prawns were made with lots of chillies so that the prawns while melting put off a fire in your mouth.
After this heavenly meal we reached our hotel to see the rest of the gang having a buffet lunch and I was so glad that we were in different vehicles.

No Honking in Delhi

I have been bit by a bug. In a city that believes in the adage that have horn will honk I have decided to drive without honking. Earlier I would have thought it difficult but now after 30 odd days of driving without the mandatory Beep beep the realisation has dawned that it aint that difficult.
It all started one fine morning while I was dropping my son of to school and he complained that i was honking too much. I thought ok let me try out driving without using the mechanical obscenity screamer.
It has been three months now and more or less I can proudly say that I am driving well now.
Now if only my fellow drivers will start following the rules.

Cheerleaders and Men

India is bitten ( or is it bit) by the IPL fever. From office to cocktail discussions are all about how Shane Warne is captaining to when Rahul will get sacked. I was initially resistant to the lure of the T20 version of cricket but over the month have started following some of the matches. It might also be a by product of me being a sports freak and The Gunners will not win any silverware this year ( so nothing else to watch on TV except maybe what Khali eats and how he walks )
Alas one of the reasons I wanted to watch IPL vanished due to the need to safeguard Indian men from foreign assaults on our morality. My friends had spoken about the extraordinary ability and assets of the Washington Redskin Cheerleaders and the sundry blondes from Belarus and Ukraine but when I started watching for some reason they had donned new avatars and were covered top to bottom. I was away for some time this year and so unfortunately ( or fortunately ) did not follow the fracas and time this issue generated.
On the Reuters India site a blog had been posted on the issue and the gist was that more than the cheerleaders it was important to question our attitude towards women and how we see them. In itself the blog is innocuous and is not the subject of this post, the subject being a comment posted by someone I know which said that if women walk out at 2 they are asking to be molested.
This guy is normal eduacated & likeable. Not the typical boor from Jatland who burn their daughter because of izzat issues. He has been raised in Delhi, did his schooling here and is also a new generation MCA so one cant put him under the classification of ' the poor guy is not educated and so education is the key'. When I confronted him on his post he was quite convinced that what happens to women is bad but is brought to them by their own acts whether what they are wearing or where they are going.
This brought out in stark the issues that women face in Delhi or any Indian City ( Mumbaikars your city is just as bad so dont get sanctimonious ) . It is how the vast majority sees the fairer sex that there is a view that their place is ordained by men and it is the men who will decide what is right or wrong for women.
I dont have a solution but I dont know whether education alone can solve the issue. Till the time we as parents dont communicate these values to our kids this thing will move from one generation to the other. Maybe more and more working women is the answer as proximity might bring in more tolerance and the right value.
This friend asked me ' Tell me, will you allow your sister or wife to go out at 2??' My response was that I dont know whether I have the right to allow but I would definitely advise them against it. Not because Good girls dont go out at 2 but because there are men like you who think that anyone out at 2 is easy meat and available.
May our country get better sense and soon!

Qutub Ki Laat

This weekend started very badly. My fourball called to cancel the games on sat and sunday when I had slogged through Friday to be on the good books of the wife to ensure that I will not be castigated for being out of her hair for two whole days. Women never know what is good and what is bad.
To get more brownie points which I can encash later I agreed to not follow Jeev in Jeju and take everyone to see the Qutub Minar. Everyone means friend, friends daughter, both my sons, wife and your truly ( the driver ). March in Delhi is one of the best times, though this year is slightly hotter than usual but still it is nice and ideal for a trip to a historical monument.
This last year has got me to more Delhi monuments than the last 20 years of my life thanks mainly to people coming and me showing them the sights and sounds of my city. Qutub holds the pride of place. Somehow I find Qutub to be more awe inspiring than even Taj. Taj is for me something like a picture postcard not enough emtion slightly cold, whereas Qutub is raw and the age of the place is palpably felt at the monumnet.
Thanks to the ASI the area is lush, there are less empty Lays packs around the lawns and surprise of surpriseloos are reasonably ok. The only discordant note was the eunuchs troubling young couples. The ASI should do something about this.
Once a month this kind of a trip is also great to get the bonding going again and I for one was quite happy.
Now if only the Golf could have been played post lunch!!!!!

भैया कि भाषा में ब्लाग

Golf, Ernie and Indian Masters

I try to play Golf. Before anyone thinks I am being my modest self let me announce that I AM NOT BEING MODEST!!
Golf is the most capricious game that I have ever played or attempted to play. There are so many variables that I am forever unsure of what I did wrong. And the rare times that I am able to send the ball where I wanted it to go I am unable to replicate that. All this above, is when the conditions are perfect, there is hardly any wind or if there is any it is always the one with a tail. On windy days it is a game of chance and you would not be blamed if you think this is as close to Vegas as you will get in your lifetime.
Anyways last week was the Indian Masters in Delhi and thanks to my friend 'Wanshu I got a chance to watch Ernie Els, Thomas Bjorn, Shiv Kapur, Arjun Atwal, Jeev, Jyoti and Digvijay Singh in action live. The funniest part was that none of us followed the eventual winner SSP Chowrasia ( one more example of the capriciosness of this game ).
Like all other star stuck fans we followed Ernie on his walk around DGC post a sumptous lunch thanks again to the fact that 'Wanshu is cute yaa ( pronounced with a d instead of t) and women just love him naturally. The 5 odd holes that we followed Ernie was a lesson on hope and the fact that no one can claim to have mastered this game. We saw Jeev going OB, Ernie going to the Bunker more than once, Atwal missing a three feet putt which in Lado we would have said 'given' and Kjeldsen doing a three putt after a glorious second shot. In between we also saw Jeev nearly doing a hole in one and two near perfect lobs from a sand and grass dunker by Ernie which was as beautiful a shot as you could possibly see.
A perfect day of Golf and the hope that if these greats can go OB or miss putts I should put my ideas and thought of how much my set s worth at bay.

2008 and Nursery Admissions

The New Year has come in and it is already 15 days old and life is back to its usual humdrum existence of work, family and a little bit golf. The only new part of this year is the Nursery Admission process in Delhi. This year we are also amongst the many who are trying and praying that their progeny get into a 'good' school.

We are trying in most of the south Delhi school and with the confusion created by Mr Ganguly still not clear it is a recipe made in hell.

All schools have their own method of doing their Eenie, Meenie, Myna, Mo and we have gone through three of them. They range from interaction ( interview ) with parents to group discussions. Internet has created new groups where people suffering from post Ganguly depression and confusion can get succor by reading the travails of fellow sufferers.

Taare Zameen par was the ideal movie in these times as all parents have suddenly decided that what they want to do is allow the child to flower without putting undue pressure etc etc. Suddenly 'Pressure' is a bad word not to be used in front of kids.

Speaking of movies I promised to thank the Bijlis for single handedly changing the bollywood movie scene. From the days of one screen halls to multiplexes the movies today have changed from One size fits all to different movies for different audiences. Can you imagine movies like KKG, Bheja Fry, Life in a Metro, Cheeni Kum, TZP coming 10 years back and getting commercial release. Ten years back Dharmedra was still doing his Dog vampire bit. Now at least we have movies which target the ricksaw walah to the mercedes guy.
And Amen to that.

P.S. : My sons learning from TZP - Hostels are not good and if you sent me there ergo you dont love me